Indonesia’s representative in the Miss Universe 2010 pageant, Qory Sandioriva, has become famous for her disasterous “get to know” interview. Her breezy massacre of the English language has the nation cringing.
If you couldn’t follow what she actually said in the clip, no worries – here’s the transcript. Prepare to have your brains and everything you know about syntax, grammar and anything you think you know about English turned upside down by this lady.
Anyhow, being an Indonesian girl, (and having listened to the clip over and over again), I can say I understand what she really means 
And for you, I have included my own interpretation of her upside down ‘Indlish’ (Indo-English)
Q: Being a woman, what piece of advice would you give to a man?
A: I think that when you down, your woman can make you up. And I think that, woman can be said that I have to advice for you that ummm…. if you way up, you have to be nice to people include women. So that when you down, women can be nice with you….
What she was trying to say:
Every man should know that whenever he’s feeling down, a woman can cheer him up and help him get back on track. And as a woman, I would say to a man: “if you are on the way to success, please remember to be nice to everyone (stay humble), including to women (who are close to you). So, if you somehow fail, you will have someone there to help you to keep strong.
Q: What is the best gift you have ever received?
A: The best gift somebody ever given to me is the one box but the character is not look good or beautiful but it’s have a sounds, a beautiful sounds that makes me love the music, I love the music now. Now, I’m a singer and I’m study at singer for jazz, for classical and of course for pop. That is makes me know what I want to do. That makes me know what I love it. That makes me know what jobs or what kind of activities that I love it.
What she was trying to say:
The best gift I have ever received was a little music box. The figurine (maybe a ballerina) wasn’t that beautiful, but the music was beautiful. I really loved the music and it inspired me to learn music and be a singer, and I am now a singer. I have learned to sing jazz, classical and of course pop songs. From the moment I heard the music from that music box; I knew what I want to do in my life, I knew what I truly love (music) and I knew I’m going to be a singer.
Q: What is the worst date you have ever been on?
A: In one restaurant, and that is the day that I know he was a playboy. So he have three girlfriends, including me, but before that I know that they have more than one-hundred girlfriends. It’s very bad, but I know the good is now he always care for me and can be a best friend for me. He always protect me, please Qory don’t like me, don’t same like me, you are a nice girl, so he never touch me, you know like a playboy, but umm, he always make me comfortable in inside (beside?) her and yeah, it’s a very, very bad, bad date, but he inspiring me to be a tough woman.
What she was trying to say:
It was in a restaurant, and I found out that my boyfriend was also dating two other girls. He’s such a playboy! Actually, before that happened, I had heard some rumours that he could have had more than one-hundred girlfriends (but I don’t believe in gossip – or being too naive). It was very bad, and I was very sad.
The good thing is now we are best friends. He protects me and cares for me as a friend. He said to me: “Qory, please don’t follow my bad example (don’t be a play-girl) because you are a good girl.” Although he had reputation for being a playboy, when we were dating, he treated me with respect (and never tried to seduce me like a playboy would). In fact, with him I feel the comfort of a friend.
It was a very, very bad date, but this bad situation gave me a lesson to be a tougher woman.
In case you are wondering, I can assure you there are thousands of English language schools in Indonesia and Miss Qory should have taken an intensive English speaking course before heading to Nevada to pursue her crown.
You might have noticed the marked improvement in quality. 
Maria Ozawa Film Promoted by Islamic Fundamentalists
The notion that a famous porn actress was coming to Indonesia to make a film was enough to set hearts racing at the FPI (Islamic Defender’s Front). Having been successful in driving out the Indonesian version of Playboy and getting its publisher arrested, they thought they would follow up by preventing a porno from being made, and thereby polluting the souls of the Indonesian people.
One noteworthy attempt to block filming occurred when they picketted the airport, hoping to stop Maria Ozawa from entering Indonesia. Despite closely monitoring the arrivals hall, she managed to slip past them. Perhaps they didn’t recognise her with her clothes on? Or perhaps they expected her to arrive in full porn star regalia – leather lingerie, possibly?
The film crew were a little nervous, according to this report, but the film, Hantu Tanah Kusir, was made and has been released in Indonesian cinemas (in fact a couple of films were made, the other hasn’t been released yet). The actions of the FPI has guaranteed the producers will pocket a tidy profit regardless of the quality of the film. In fact, it’s not a porno at all, it’s a comic horror, as you can see from the clip. The clip also shows the most of the Japanese-Canadian pornstar’s flesh that you will see in that film. Yes, she undresses, but you only see her back. In another scene you will find her wearing a bra. Indeed, judging from the clip, this film is no better or worse than the scores of horror films the Indonesian film industry pumps out year after year.
The Indonesian internet community is obsessed with the following screenshots which show Ozawa wearing a kebaya, the traditional blouse of Indonesian women. I’m not sure what the fuss is about, maybe its because you can see some cleavage in one of the pics? But her secrets have already been revealed to anyone who cares to search for that sort of thing. Indonesians do seem to like it when they see foreigners embracing part of their culture, though. Anyhow, here are the screen shots for your information:
Ozawa wearing the traditional tight-fitting kebaya
Delman of death sets off for its doom, there's the cleavage.
Approaching the delman (delman is the name used for a horse cart)
Maria Ozawa looking fresh and innocent